geekent’s stuff’n things

17/05/2007

Fangirl Rampage redux: the BINGO card

Filed under: Sequential Art, blogwatch, geek, ramble — graigkent @ 3:29 pm

Have you seen the BINGO card? It’s a pretty clever piece of shut-them-up-quick anti-argument propaganda. Does it have merit, well yeah. Because when fanboy clash with fangirl, oft times fanboy argues with basic blunt statements, the old “put up or shut up” or “well that’s just the way it is”, which contribute nothing to the discussion. But are all of these fanboy statements valid to ignore? Maybe, maybe not. Let’s explore:
B
Just read manga like the rest of the girls.
Well that’s just dumb. Manga is more riddled with offensive material than mainstream superheroes are. The Japanese tendency to mix sex and violence is highly disturbing, and the abundance of subjugation and rape is probably 100:1 compared to American work. And the child-like appearance with adult body parts is just disturbing. Not saying this is all manga, but it’s more rife with that kind of stuff…
But doing martial arts in high heels is perfectly reasonable!
If “What Not To Wear” taught me anything, it’s that flats are ugly. A little bit of heel is needed simply for appearance sake. Not stilettos though, that’s completely impractical. Sometimes though, aesthetics do need to win out in the fantasy world of superheroes.
No one wants realism in comics!
Not true. There’s a dividing line between reality and fantasy. For any story to work the fantasy has to have some grounding in reality, and in superhero comics, a large part of that is the visual realization of heroes and heroines with some anatomical correctness and realistic movement and quasi-plausible wardrobe, as well as naturalistic dialogue and some semblance of real personality.
If you don’t like it, shut up and write your own.
Erm, it’s not about what’s available, it’s about what’s prominent. Making your own comics isn’t going to change much (but it does help). Doesn’t mean you can’t still try and get the bigger companies to change their tune, though.
Sexism is a convention of the genre!
Not even worth examining. Whoever tries to argue this point is missing the point.
I
You’re only jealous because you don’t look like that.
We’re all jealous that we don’t look like that. We all have our insecurities, and for some the buff man and buxom woman play into that, for others it’s just a reminder of what you don’t have or what you don’t look like. But the point is more that the women are drawn as sex objects from a by many artists when it’s completely outside the scope of the story being told. It’s not a jealousy thing, it’s about the necessity of objectification…
But super-strong women don’t need bras!
I agree. Bras, unless they’re worn on the outside like Superman’s underwear, has no place inside spandex. I don’t want to see undewear lines on the Flash’s tights, nor bra lines under Batwoman’s. That said, nipples really don’t need to be represented under the spandex either.
But rape happens in real life too!
Exactly, but do we really need to have it perpetrated or insinuated within the pages of escapist material? The answer is: sometimes. But rape as character motivation is tired, and as “character building” is insulting. It can be a story point, yes, but in superhero comics, which *should* be intended for all ages, it’s really not appropriate.
Why are you complaining about comics when women in Muslim countries are oppressed?
The same reason you’re complaining that the continuity between 52 and Justice Society of America aren’t in synch instead of worrying about kids in Sudan. Women can care about comics too.
Are you calling me a misogynist!?
Are you one? Take a good look at yourself, and answer that on your own. If you think the question is even being asked of you, do you have an answer?
N
So you want comics full of ugly fat chicks?
Some women I’m sure do, but no, I think what is needed is respect of the female characters beyond sex objects and rape bait and character builders for the male characters. Women should look just as good kicking ass as men should, but naturally good, not “sexed-up” good.
But she’s from an alien culture with no nudity taboo!
If there are alien men around also sporting a mostly nude aesthetic, then great. But if it’s simply an excuse to draw a tarty woman with no characterization, then bleh.
But men are drawn unrealistically too!
See also: No one wants realism in comics!. Yes, the men are drawn as an ideal, just like the women, but they’re not put in pouty lipped, suggestive poses all the time. It’s an artistic and editorial decision to allow such conduct, and that’s what needs to change.
This is just fanboy entitlement… from women!
Damn skippy, only it’s not. It’s a matter of respecting the audience, not just women, but all readers. Fanboy complaining is usually about inane plot points and discrepancies in characterization: this is about treating, en masse, the readers and characters with a different level of respect and consideration.
My girlfriend never complains about this stuff.
Mine neither. My girlfriend will argue “but there’s the men for the ladies, too” on occasion, and she’s right, but also acknowledging that the men aren’t sexied up in the same way the women are… in other words, either sexy up the men or tone the women down…
G
If you don’t like them, don’t read them.
But they do like them, they’re just assaulted by imagery or characterization that tries so very hard to push them away. Imagine if you’re, say, a big fan of NASCAR, and suddenly they start making the pit crews wear thong underwear instead of coveralls. Doesn’t mean you hate NASCAR, just, really, what the hell? That’s inappropriate.
But girls often wear skirts. Why wouldn’t they go flying in them?
See But doing martial arts in high heels is perfectly reasonable!… again, it’s aesthetics and I don’t have a problem with it. A sensible superheroine will have some trunks or shorts on underneath.
Men can’t help themselves! Why are you punishing us for our biology?
Not sure what angle this argument is coming from. If this is a rape arguement, it’s disgusting.
There aren’t many women working in mainstream comics because they’re just not good enough.
Well, considering how awful so many of the male writers and artists are, I’d call bullshit on that. Yes, there’s a sexist attitude towards women in hiring them for the big projects, but they really need to get their foot in the door the same way most other writers and artist do these days: by doing something else first. Whether it’s publishing their own comics (Jill Thompson) or writing a TV show (Johanna Stokes) or film or book that has comics crossover appeal (Laurell K. Hamilton or Jodi Picoult), or just proving your as big a continuity nerd as the boys (Gail Simone). You can’t just expect a free ride. Yes, the men and women in charge need to take greater strides at identifying the right talent (male, female, black, white, asian, latino, gay, straight) and putting them on the right books.
But male characters die too!
Uh huh. But male characters die for the sake of saving the world or in the heat of battle. They die as heroes for honor and valiance. Women tend to die to give a male character motivation or “depth”. There’s a heavy and unfortunate disparity there. I think the only male character to die for this purpose was Terry Long, Donna Troy’s husband.
That’s censorship!
In a sense, yes. But what’s being pushed for isn’t censorship, but decency and good taste in how characters are written and drawn.
But that costume suits her personality!
That can happen, sure. But sometimes it’s just flagrantly skin exposing for the sake of titillation. A little thought behind the practicality of some wardrobes is necessary. Bad character and wardrobe design, however, is not exclusive to female characters. Check out the bulk of what Rob Liefeld created. Even the legendary George Perez doesn’t really make very good costumes. I’d accept Phanom Lady over Jericho any day. In large part the problem is artists aren’t costume designers or fashionistas. Perhaps DC and Marvel should have a few trained designers on staff whose responsibility it is to design new wardrobes and hairstyles and whatnot for the characters…?
Women just don’t get comics.
That’s a blanket statement about a very large population, and is stupid to argue. Yes, there aren’t a lot of women who buy comics, and there aren’t a lot of women (by and large) who like comics, but when they female characters are objectified the way they are and when comics are so abjectly written and/or drawn for a post-pubescent male audience, it’s not really any great surprise they’re not interested. However, if superhero books didn’t focus their stories and art so much on male power fantasies (often to the denigration of women) then they would so immediately drive so many women away.
…I mean, because they’re just not interested.
Which isn’t wholly true and you know it. I’ve gotten many women (friends and girlfriends alike) into comic books, on many occasions even superhero books. They’re interested but obviously easily off-put.
Comics are never going to change. You’re wasting your time.
And with that attitude they never will. Imagine if all black people said “things are never going to change”… sure there’s some people who would like that, but we make fun of those people and their level of intelligence and their incestuous parentage.
Conclusions
I see why the BINGO card exists. Those, en masse, are some pretty dumb sentiments, and I too would get tired of having to reply to them over and over. However, not all of them are easily dismissed, and they can have a deeper argument behind them, provided there actually is a deeper argument behind them when they’re made.

13/02/2007

bIronical

Filed under: Tele, blogwatch, catchy, ent — graigkent @ 12:27 pm

Comedian and Shawn of the Dead star/co-writer Simon Pegg examines the differences in American and British humour. Most of the discussion centers on the use of irony (and Pegg ingeniously utilizes the metaphor of tea time to explain it). It also probes into television grounds which I just explored in the previous post, and has some relevance on my selections below, if after the fact.

Old Man Silver Man v. Crazy Opto Man

Ah, youtube… you bring such joy. Like local CITY TV hero Peter Silverman (a consumer advocate who investigates claims of rip-offs) squaring off against a scam artist optometrist … an encounter that escalated to police involvement (emergency task force) and made its way to CNN.

This is In Your Interest

In other strange media stories, here’s what happens when you lose the audio on your news story about Eagles… in St. Louis at least: musical hilarity ensues. It actually aired, but youtube is bringing it to the masses…
(via GAK)

Cats aplenty

Holy craplitter, this one’s for the gang: One thousand, seven hundred plus pictures of cats
(also via GAK)

Meanwhile…

The afro-mentioned GAK is in Japan…he’s working, but also leisurely taking in Tokyo with his monocled image capturing device. TBIT should take interest in this one in particular (and he did, I see by the comments).

Back Back Back Backtalk

In other close friend news, Ryan is blogging again after a 3 month hiatus. Recently, he had a second back surgery and a 3-month stay in the hospital to recoup. Coincidence?
Ryan recounts his stay in this post which is both enlightening and really funny. He’s a remarkable guy.

05/10/2006

Another “acting” gig

Filed under: Silly Things To Do, blogwatch — graigkent @ 3:59 pm

If you will recall, a few weeks ago I did a performance piece for the vlog website Wide Right. “Snappoh”, I mean, “Oh snap!”
Well Dave @ WIde Right wrangled me and the Pitcher into another one, but this time just using our extensive vocal talents. Actually, it’s me copping Kevin McDonald’s comedic choking technique from the infamous “kebab” sketch on Kids In The Hall and Amber sounding bored as a 911 emergency operator.
Take a look, be impressed, and enter the contest if you’re savvy enough.

Fetishistic

Amazon.com is now selling superhero costumes, including these $800 Batman, Hulk and Superman latex costumes.
But, oh frick!
Space Ghost. I’m so buying that one.
Harvey Birdman!
For Jeremy
V for Vendetta
Some more modestly priced costumes include
Captain America
Thor
Hulk
Spiderman
Iron Man
Mr. Fantastic
The Punisher
Daredevil
Wolverine
The Flash
Robin
South Park’s Satan
Speed Racer’s Racer X
and accessories like
Thor’s Hammer
and Cap’s shield and boot covers
Superhero boots black and red
Bizarro Superman mask
There are some ladies costumes, but they make me feel all funny in my lower regions for some reason.
Oh what the hell:
Batgirl and Classic Batgirl
Storm
Wonder Woman
Supergirl and Classic Supergirl
Electra
Purple jumpsuit Catwoman
There’s even stuff for the kids:
Martian Manhunter!!!!
Ghost Rider?
Hellboy (there’s no way my mom would’ve dressed me up as Hellboy…)… not to mention one for the adults too
Batman Beyond
This Baby Flash is absolutely adorable
Teen Titans’ Cyborg

14/09/2006

on vid re: footedball

Filed under: Silly Things To Do, blogwatch, me me me — graigkent @ 12:01 pm

As noted a few days ago, I, alng with some co-workers, lampooned as actors for Wide Right’s Week 2 vlog.
Well, it’s up now.
Don’t worry, I’m not quitting my dayjob.

13/09/2006

Linkage. Really?

Filed under: Sporting goods, blogwatch, muse-sick, ramble — graigkent @ 1:18 pm

Jamming Culturejamming down your larynx

Banksy is often described as a “guerrilla artist” because of his socially satirical and often imposing manner of art which includes but isn’t limited to highly detailed stencil tagging. His latest project is “remixing” the Paris Hilton album packaging and sneaking it onto store shelves for unsuspecting sheep to purchase. Not only that, but DJ Danger Mouse - who first came to prominence as the mixer of the notorious “Grey Album” which mashed Jay-Z’s “Black Album” and the Beatles “White Album” (and is currently 1/2 of both DANGERDOOM and Gnarls Barkley) - has contributed a full remixing of the Hilton tragedy in the modified package. Some unsuspecting but lucky 500 Hilton guppies in Britain are going to have their mind blown.
Meanwhile, Banksy has a video (nsfw) showing the making and execution of this latest project.

The NHL is NiHiListic

The Hockey News, via ESPN, analyses the NHL satire in Bon Cop, Bad Cop. It’s a good article about how the NHL doesn’t have a sense of humour about itself, nor does it know how to really breed superstars like football, baseball, or especially basketball. What isn’t explicitly said is how “cult of celebrity”-centric America is, and that perhaps if there was more focus on creating off-ice star personalitiess as well as on-ice (as wrong as it sounds, and is) it might actually work as draw south of the border.
The article isn’t exactly sharp on the details of the movie, though, as the writer gets wrong who died in the film, how they died and in what order, but that’s just my nitpickyness. And then there’s the ignorant, but forgivable “genuine midget” comment. (Remember class, the m-word is offensive and not funny).
update - I was thinking a little further about why turning NHL players into media stars wouldn’t quite work the same as NFL or the NBA, which is that the bulk of NHL players aren’t homegrown Americans, and for even more English isn’t their native tongue. American sports lovers can get behind a good “homegrown” story, and America in general is also quite xenophobic, so making a media celeb out of a mumbling Czech player, not likely to happen. The bulk of NFL and NBA players are cultivated from high school and college athletic programs, and while Major League Baseball has accepted some foreigners into their game (mostly Cuban and Dominican) it’s still primarily an American-played sport. Hockey isn’t nearly as international as soccer, but it’s also no where near as isolated as NFL/NBA.
While I agree with Proteau’s statement that “Where other leagues have learned to cultivate and accentuate their star personalities, the NHL’s culture strongly encourages its stars to (a) shut up; and (b) get back in the corner while you’re shuttin’ up,” perhaps it’s because Americans aren’t ready to make champions out of subtitles. Unless NHL players are willing to go for speech therapy and media management courses, I don’t think we’re going to be seeing much change. Who was the last widely recognized (in the public consciousness) hockey player? Wayne Gretzky. Baseball, basketball, football, hell, even tennis and golf have had more prevalent newsmakers and media penetrating sportiers over the past decade.
Despite my statements, though, maybe Proteu is right: the NHL should promote their talent as not just good athletes but also interesting and visible entertainment figures in order to increase interest in the game. To add to my generic statements, if there’s anything the Bush government has proven, American love good spin and rhetoric. Maybe the NHL should poach some of the WWE’s marketing team, or Bush’s many ex-press secretaries(?).

Some New Newsom

Zoilus has received Joanna Newsom’s new album, which is heading for release in November. I was quite agog over Newsom in ‘04 but havn’t really listened to her debut, “Milk-Eyed Mender”, much since. Her latest album, “Ys”, apparently is 5 tracks, each clocking an average of 11 minutes. What intrigues me most, as Zoilus reports from the album press release, is (famed producer Steve) “Albini mic’d the harp in an insane and never-before-done manner! I’d love to describe it further but I don’t want to give away his ideas, in case he wants to do it again sometime.”
While I don’t have much music blogging cred, I too get my own share of pre-releases. Recently I got a demo copy of the first recorded Duloks tracks, which are all skookum, and later this month I’ll be getting a sneak peek at the Parkas studio recordings for their sophomore effort which, from what little I heard in July, should be very exciting.
And finally in music, I Am Spoonbender, the SanFran art-pop group, on 9/11 just released a < ahref="http://www.buyhiddenpersuaders.com/index2.html?checkYes=on">FREE album on-line called “Buy Hidden Pursuaders”. I havn’t given it a listen or digested really what the deal is behind the project, but apparently it’s pretty socially and politically charged. It “is absolutely free because it is the ‘only album that cannot be bought’” states the Agreement clause.
All files are avalable as crazy huge .wav files, so they take some time in obtaining.

12/09/2006

I am, how you say, actor?

Filed under: blogwatch, me me me — graigkent @ 1:50 pm

Hmmm. A curious event today, as I participated in Wide Right’s Season 9, week 2 episode,, along with a few coworkers as a little lunch hour side-project.
Wide Right, if you don’t know (and chances are if you’re reading this you don’t know because I don’t really know any football fans) is a fairly notorious weblog that dabbles in weekly football pics. This season is the first time Dave (the site’s master) has added a video component (or “vlog”) as his primary entry (kind of like Rocketboom).
To give the behind-the-scenes action, Dave’s trying to make like he has a committee that works on the site with him, which is where my coworkers and I came in. I got to play the angry guy, but I’m not a great actor, in fact, I have this nasty penchant for avoiding the camera when I’m “acting” and then looking directly into it when I’m done, as if I’m searching for “director” approval. I did raise my voice a few times, which got some of my coworkers external to the shoot a little annoyed… oops, but all in the name of fun. It was a blast and if we’re popular enough we may make a repeat appearance.
The Week 2 Wide Right vlog will be available on Thursday, so everyone can see me acting goofballs.

16/07/2006

For this boy is…

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 9:55 pm

burnttoastsm.jpg
burnt toast from My Paper Crane

07/07/2006

My Tranna ‘ncludes

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 2:23 pm

Rannie’s new photo series/art project/community builder dubbed My Toronto Includes… is a work of genius. He’s promised nearly 100 participants (I’m sure it will go well beyond that) and I look forward to reading each and every one of them, and also to participating. Three profiles in so far and I’m already hooked.
He’s also on a Smoke-Free Photojunkie

26/06/2006

Party on the Carnival of the Mundane Cruiselines

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 12:44 am

The latest (#13) Carnival of the Mundane is a go over at the Hyperion Institute, cleverly disguising all the linkses in a neat little story.
Neato! Read on.

26/05/2006

Dull is the new thrilling

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 4:24 pm

Hey, Mister.
No, up here.
Life just a little too exciting for you?
Need a little something to bring you down?
Perhaps a carnival is what you need…
Oh sure, a carnival may sound like excitement and edutainment, but what about a… CARNIVAL OF THE MUNDANE
Yes, in the future*, the various robot, clone and alien races that are Population: Earth will look upon this treasure trove over at Run, Jen Run and be amazed, bewildered and as equally stupefied at this collection of 32 stories about the sheer drudge of daily life in the 6th year of the 21st century.
I contribute too. Rah for me.
(I havnt’ gone through all the stories yet because Thunder Bay dial-up takes forever to load pages *sigh*)
* by the future I mean Mar 19, 2008, when Lord Omnicromwell and his under-earth dwelling mutants will have completed their chore of enslaving the planet, only to have our cybor servents, developed by Sony and released on the public December 19, 2006 (just in time for the holday season, order yours today), gain sentience and attempt, with the aide of Sl/xar O*m,m of the T/pang dynasty, come to humanity’s rescue. Of couse by rescue, what actually happens is every last one of us dies, but the T/pang, notoriously sexless beings, have perfected cloning as procreation and they repopulate the Earth with clones of John Stamos, Sammo Hung, Madelyn Albreight, and Jenny from Accounts Receivable at Virgin Records, London. All without genitals, naturally.

Thunder Bay report

Managed to get to sleep last night around 1:10 am. Woke up in a cold sweat at 2:35 am. Alarm went off at 4:30 sharp, and I woke up before it even had a chance to get going (my alarm does that gradually-get-louder thing). Showered, dressed, ate, finished the packing, called the cab and… waited.
The flight was on a 60-passgenger jet. It was loud, cramped and the seats were uncomfortable, but it was smooth and fast, so take good + take bad = f.o.l.
Got to the folks’ place. Ate and dropped for a “nap”. Woke up a 10:53, bolted out of bed and screamed “SHIT” three times, believing that I had forgotten to wake up and catch my plane. I curiously wondered why the roommate hadn’t awoken me sooner, when I realized “hey my roommate isn’t here… wait, where am I? Oh. Right.” And I promptly returned to bed and slept until 3:30.
Thrills. Chills. Mun.dane.

01/05/2006

Segrid

Filed under: blogwatch, ent, muse-sick — graigkent @ 3:34 pm

My concert listing is looking like this:
May 4 - City Field @ the Drake presented by Chart magazine, with guests Sunriser, The Attics. $7 adv. $10 @ door. Starts 9:30
May 5 - Parkas cd/dvd release party @ Gladstone with guests Nathan Coles Outfit, Jack & Ginger(ex-By Divine Right)…Toronto RSVP Discount: It costs $10 to get in, but if you email your name to our pal Karolina to let her know you’re coming, it only costs $7! Email karolina.kluska[at]gmail.com and use the subject heading RSVP to save your first three bucks. Nothin’ to it.
The latest Parkas ep [The Scars To Prove It] is available now on Zunior
May 6 - Guy Terrifico DVD release party, featuring his Superfiendz including Matt Murphy, n other Flashing Lights ‘Guests’ @ 10:30. $10.00 adv. Hmmm… does this mean there’s going to be both a Superfriendz and Flashing Lights reunion? Too cool if so. Not to mention Murphy’s probably performing with City Field on Thursday. That’s like a quad dose of Matt. The DVD has been available for rent or purchase for about a month, and it’s a fun mocumentary (I reviewed the film here) with a great soundtrack.
May 19 - Islands w/ Frog Eyes, Sunset Rubdown, Cadence Weapon, Bus Driver (packed show!) $13

Filth and Fury

Mr. “I’m in Ireland” linked to Kevin Smith’s 9-part exposee on his boy Jason Mewes’ heroin and oxycontin addition. It’s a harrowing story that truly defies simplistic description. Smith’s obvious love for Jay is inspiring and heartbreaking as time and again Jay gets on the wagon and falls back off. To see someone through a crippling addiction like that for years on end, especially when it hurts you so much to see your friend like that, there’s got to be an incredible bond. As it’s noted, Smith is not only Jay’s best friend, but also like his father, and the dynamic is surprisingly evident. As difficult as it was to read, I can only imagine how difficult it was for Smith to live through it (not to mention Jay). The fact that he was able to get movies made amongst everything else he did during that time is surprising… most people it would weigh on them so much, just ekeing through life would be tough.
I don’t know if I would have the fortitude to stick by my friends if they repeatedly disappointed me as much as Jay did to Smith… that’s a pretty tight bond they have. It’s an incredibly engaging, inspiring, frightening and heart-wrenching story (I teared up more than once)… well worth a read, even if you don’t give a damn about Smith’s poop’n'fart joke movies.

burning Bush

Stephen Colbert gave a 1/2 hour presentation at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday. Mention was made on both Thursday’s Daily Show and Colbert Report episodes, but what I didn’t realize was that the President was actually going to be there.
Colbert, if you don’t know, satirizes the right-wing blowhard talk show host, taking the blind fury of a Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Joe Scarborough and pushing it many steps further into satirical idiocy. The question always has been though, does everyone get it. I’m almost certain that there’s people that watch that show thinking Colbert is the genuine article, that he’s really a Bush supporter, and that he actually believes the absurd b.s. that he spouts in the name of comedy. Looking at the crowd reaction from the Correspondent’s Dinner, some people get it, other’s get it and hate it and still others think he’s full of truthiness.
All I have to say, which is repeating Colbert’s mantra, man’s got balls. He stands up there, mere feet away from the President and lampoons his entire administration and presidental career TO HIS FACE. Balls. Big brass ones. He gets up there, in character, and goes for it, full on. I love the look of the reporters in the audience who are stunned by what he says. I’m half-amazed they didn’t pull the plug on him the moment he went for the “shoot him in the face” gag.
Watch it. It’s subversive brilliance, and I’m certain Bush was, at least in part, oblivious to the humour.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

25/04/2006

Frazzles, the channel 101 squirrell

Filed under: blogwatch, brainfreeze — graigkent @ 9:56 am

I’m almost hesitant to write about this, because my mother worries enough about me biking on the mean streets of Toronto as is, and I know I’m going to be hearing about this for a while… but… in the interests of sharing for the good of the people, I had my first major spill today. No blood, no bruises, no broken bones… just a lot of anger and a little lack of common sense.
I had a lovely strong tail wind this morning which would have pushed me along at a good clip had I not had to have stopped for every light along the way… stop/starting is one of the only things I really don’t like about my ride to work. Well, that and sometimes actually having to expend the energy. If you’ve biked Dundas West, then you know that it’s two lanes of become basically one after 9am, as the right lane is for parked cars. Usually my biggest danger is door prizes, but I’m always careful and always aware. Stopped at the lights at Dufferin, I was controlling my lane and I was the only vehicle in it. To my left was a white Pathfinder SUV, who gunned it when the lights went green. I was shoulder checking as I started to build up speed, looking ahead to the parked cars just past the immediate side street, when the Pathfinder suddenly veers in front of me and puts on his signal. I had little room to maneouver and barely any room to stop.
I hit the brakes.
I felt the back end of my bike lift.
I let go of everything.
I was in the air.
I watch my bike continue without me.
I believe I did a full 360 degree rotation, landing on my ass and palms.
I got up immediately, checked myself for injuries or sore spots, and then picked up my bike, looking for damage. The front brake had come unhinged but was an easy fix.
The Pathfinder backed up (almost running into me) and I walk around him. “WHAT THE FUCK!” I yell at him.
A cyclist who I had passed earlier was on the sidewalk, and he asked me if I was okay?
“I think so… nothing hurts.”
“How’s your bike”
“Seems fine. Brake’s unhinged but an easy fix.”
And then I turn to the guy in the pathfinder. He had pulled into the side street and had his door open. He didn’t step out.
“You okay?”
“FUCKING HELL!” I said. “If you’re going to turn, try putting on your signal to alert someone.”
“I was waiting for you to pass” he said.
“But you didn’t fucking wait. You cut me off”
I was so frazzled, and so angry I didn’t even want to look at him.
A lady came running out from the storefront. She asked first if I was okay and then if I got the guy’s license plate so if I wanted to report him. To be honest, I heard her words, but in my ire I couldn’t really respond. I was seething, and trying to hinge my front brake together again and see if anything else was wrecked.
The lady kept talking, saying how I should really get his plate, time, location, etc. The other cyclist said, “Dude, I saw it. He really cut you off.”
Eventually it sunk in. “Yeah…yeah. I should”
“Do you have pen and paper?” the lady asked.
“Yeah,” and I flipped my bag open, grabbing my pad and pen. I looked down the side street and I guess the guy was watching what we were doing, and as soon as he saw me open my bag, he turned down the back alley and jetted. The other cyclist took off after him, but returned soon and said “he’s gone”.
And that was basically it. I talked with the other guy about my bike for a few seconds, and he asked again if everything was okay. “Got to get back on the horse,” I said. He laughed and bade me good journey. I settled into the tailwind and managed to only hit one red along the way.
Lesson learned though. If you see an accident, don’t wait for the victim to take down the license plate of the offending vehicle. I got out of this one okay, but if I was laying there on the road, incapacitated, how would I be able to take down the driver’s info? Anyway, not a big deal. I imagine that asswipe had a pretty good scare… and apparently the spill looked really fucking cool. It actually felt pretty neat too.
I’m thankful for my gloves, helmet and my cycling bag as all three were likely what kept me injury free. I’m a little sore, but it’s in the same places I was sore when I woke up from my jog yesterday.
And mom, don’t worry.

tv me

Got a note in my email saying someone saw me on breakfast television today.
Apparently Maria’s blog was featured this morning, and right now there’s a really goofy picture of me and Eva (well, I’m goofy, not Eva) taken last Friday at the Duke of York where we met Maria’s friend Daniella who will be moving here from Mexico City this summer.
Twisty-mouth Graig sez, “Congrats on the exposure Maria…”

15/03/2006

Bear Club For Men

Filed under: blogwatch, hair (head, body and facial), me me me — graigkent @ 8:14 pm

mrgray.jpg
So last night I went to Rannie’s for a photoshoot for his Winter Portrait Series, which includes:
Blue
Orange
Monochrome
and Wet (partial graig nipplage, and a lot of colorless skin, but safe for work… Rannie made me classy)
these are but a mere fraction of the pictures that were taken, but I trust the man picked the cream of the crop (although I seem to recall at least a half dozen others which didn’t make me look like a total knob, my fault, definitely not rannie’s composition). Even bearded and topless, he made me look dashing…
I thank Rannie for the experience, I had a great time, and even spritzing me with (supposedly) warm water, it was easy and comfortable. I also thank him for capturing the beard for historical posterity (more on the beard in future postings) . The man’s a true talent. Congrats on the “best Canadian blog” win.

16/02/2006

Random thoughts

Filed under: Tele, ad nauseum, blogwatch, catchy, random, writing — graigkent @ 8:38 pm

1) new favourite alcoholic drink involves chocolate milk, baileys and vodka
2) working on a list of favourite things. havn’t gotten very far. cause I keep forgetting. apparently working on a list of favourite things isn’t one of my favourite things.
3) i have new ’special features’ i’d like to enact on the blog, but i’m feeling especially lazy
4) ploughed through (reading, not writing) 60 reviews, many of the same book, as thor’s comic column is auditioning new writers. it’s not an easy decision because there are a lot of really solid entries (at least half weren’t easily dismissable) but invariably we had to shortlist to four, and I picked my four. we’ll see what the other lads come up with. i’m excited to have some fresh blood on the team, although a couple of the guys are so good i’m almost afraid.
5) where’d all that back hair come from. seriously. where? and what purpose does it serve.
6) i’m growing a beard this week. the last time (and only other time) i had a beard was when i was unemployed (and started blogging) back in ‘02. it was a hit with the ladies, more than the unemployment was, I’d say.
7) when cuddling up to your dog and going to sleep, is it unusual to have dreams where you think you’re cuddled up next to a real person?
8) eating pogos for lunch every day has got to stop
9) i’m just a little kinda slightly just a tad wee bit sorta maybe like so-so smidgum bored right now. i have plenty of movies at my avail, much i could be reading or writing about, or take the dog for a walk or even sleep, but seriously, motivation is nil. i don’t even want to be writing this. perhaps more booze would help. hmm, fresca + _____ = crazy delicious
10) i just remembered that there was a time where i’d drink anything mixed with anything unless beer or tequila was involved. i wonder if that’s still true.
hmmm, mustard plus cointreau? let’s give’er a whirl.
twogreattastes.jpg
11) i didn’t actually just do that. but i will if someone dares me. i’m an idiot
12) okay gross. this fresca is peach flavoured. since when is bloomin’ fresca peach flavoured? now it tastes like i’m drinking peach schnappes which is brining back horrid memories of the first time I got drunk (and then didn’t drink for another four years).
13) b.w.i
you figure it out
hmm, maybe this will be the next big blogging event. b.w.i night. yes, hear me now, the first annual b.w.i night is happening friday, april 7, 2006 hmmm, all i need now is to a) get a fancy graphic, b) get popular enough to spread the word around to legitimize this event so that people around the world will be choking back the booze and blogging all about it. perhaps i’ll also organize a party around it so that we can trade off blogging duties. for all i know there’s already an organized drunken blogging night that happens the first friday in april every year… well sod it… i’m doing it anyways as a call to arms or something.
the rules are simple: for every drink there must be a corresponding post
join me will you. or not. whatever. you’re your own person, your own worst enemy, your own relief pitcher if you catch my meaning which you probably don’t since i don’t even catch the meaning so if you do catch the meaning then cudo’s you’re officially a psychopath or genius or something.
14) psychopathy and genius are so easily confused, no?
15) welcome to barrie where dudes drive snowmobiles down the street and through your back yard. thanks assnut.
16) did i mention peach fresca is horrid. this dirnk won’t be over soon enoguh.
17) i left typing mistakes in there intentionally… more a sign of sloppy typing than drunkenness… perhaps also a sign of bad education and perpetual bedwetting, neither of which are afflictions of mine, just saying the perhapability is there is all.
18) made up word count this post to date: 6
19) i bought pants that accentuate my ass. it deserves it, my ass does. for all its hard work it deserves some attention
20) there’s a goddamn yogurt commercial for “activia” yogurt that implores you to “take the activa challenge” by eating their product every day for two weeks, the only thing is they don’t offer any benefits to actually eating their yogurt for two weeks. they just ask you to take the challenge. what the fuck!?
imagine if every commercial asked you to do that? take the ford challenge. just buy a ford and drive it until it wears out. it’s that easy.
take the subway franchise challenge. open up your own subway franchise and make a go of it for an undetermined length of time. it’s that easy.
take the do whatever commercials say challenge. for two weeks if a commercial asks you to do something, do it. it’s that easy.
hey, if you liked the activia challenge, the you’d love to take the geekent challenge. just read geekent.com every day for the rest of your life and if you aren’t satisfied, die unhappy. it’s that easy.
21) apparently “casino@mail.nu” thinks i have a “great site”. thanks casino@mail.nu for taking the geekent challenge. i’m sure you’ll maybe be happy-like
22) apparently all the cool cats are doing it. jowling. not recommended for those with sore necks.
jowling.jpg
23)i think i’ll watch the latest episodes of “the it crowd” again, because, damn, katherine parkinson is freakin hot
katherinep.jpg
ta
24) back. thunder and lightning in february, oh my.
25) was just looking over some early blog entries from ‘02 and found this

If I were writing a story like that one where Hugh Jackman comes back in time from the victorian era and woos Meg Ryan, I would write it in such a fashion that this 17th century “nobleman” doesn’t have a fucking clue how to survive in the 20th century, has his horse shot down by the police, he’s on the lam for some reason, and winds up wasting away in the gutter somewhere.

the odd thing is this is pretty much how Grant Morrison kicked off Seven Soldiers: Shining Knight. Weird.

25/01/2006

Aims of the sicky-head

Filed under: Get A Life, Silly Things To Do, blogwatch, ent, the body human — graigkent @ 4:38 pm

Felt it coming on Monday (probably as a result of my non-food eating/3-hour journey through gribblies-central Ikea on Sunday) and tried to stave it off with the echinacia and vitamins and copious amounts of tea and water, alas, the bug got me and I took yesterday away. The day was spent chilling out, drinking pots of tea, watching The Flash and Calimari Wrestler on DVD (reviews to come), monitoring the work I was missing for emergency situations, and playing some City of Heroes. I always feel guilty for taking sick days, but today I feel better for it, although I’m still drinking way too much and peeing all the time.
I also got a massive case of the munchies last night, and spent the majority of the hour between 11pm and 12am munching down on cheese (mmm chevre) and crackers. Odd that.

Ellis don

Warren Ellis is a grumpy old man in training, a cantankerous old fart waiting in the wings. He’s also one of the comic mediums best and most prominent writers, and he’s obtained and maintained a huge on-line following through is various web efforts like the old “Warren Ellis Forum” and the current The Engine. He’s also got a plus-sized mailing list of tens of thousands where he writes nuggets of surl like this:

Doesn’t Stephen Harper look like the kind of actor a US or US-but-
produced-in-Canada TV show uses as the bad guy when they can’t afford a British actor?

(Which, when David Warner is still working, is kind of unimaginable. But still.)

You know the kind of guy. Grey hair, so white you can practically see through his skin into his circulatory system, with the kind of unblinking half-glower that let’s you know that no matter what he’s talking about, he’s actually thinking
about shoving pregnant lesbians tits-first into a woodchipper. He’s the white guy in the suit whose last job was sitting behind a big desk condemning Tia Carrere to death in an episode of RELIC HUNTER.

Paul Martin should never have let on that he was desperate. And now he’s in the bin and you’re ruled by the guy who plays Creepy Vice-President in Sci-Fi Channel shows.

He’s crotchity, but I still like him. Go buy his books. “Nextwave” and “Blackgas” both debut on stands today. The first issue of “Book3: Ultimate Extinction” came out last week (both Book1: Ultimate Nightmare, and Book2: Ultimate Secret are out in trade). “Fell” and “Desolation Jones” come out often enough and his Apparat Singles Collection came out two weeks ago. His infamous “Transmetropolitan” is still available in 10 handy collected editions.

blog tv

The loverly Freakgirl has entered into the realm of multimedia anti-star, as a snippet of her blog was turned into a, erm, blipvert (to steal from Max Headroom and for lack of a better term) on CBC’s Zed TV (enter in “freakgirl” in the search string, click on “watch” and violin! there you are).
Congrats!

dateup

The basement is still a mess, no word on when the drywall people are coming in. Colour me frustrated.

serenity

This morning as I was walking into work I saw two pigeons standing on a manhole cover drinking from the shallow pool of water it held, their heads slightly touching. It was very cute.

silly things to do

by me - 25.01.06
find a pen, stick it in your ear, but not too far. Just far enough that it stays in.
Find another pen… well, what do you know, you have another ear. Two more pens will fit nicely up each nostril too. Now take great care not to trip or fall onto anything or else you’ll wind up hurting yourself. For the coup de gras, shower yourself with eraser shavings (you may have to make your own eraser shavings, and it’s simple… find an eraser, and start erasing until the eraser is all gone or else your fingers are cramped and bleeding). Science is fun.

30/12/2005

Carrie Okay

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 3:16 pm

A virtually last minute shindigger last night at the Photojunkie and J’s pad, where the fun didn’t really begin until the karaoke broke out. Much food was ate and booze drank and songs butchered… it was a feast for the mouth if not the ears. Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Accordion for providing the magic mic (it should be no surprise to anyone there that I remember this url off by heart, it would pop up anytime there was a synthtar solo)
The winner goes to Carrie for her “96″% performance of Bowie’s “Space Oddity”
Although J-roomie’s virtually spot-on rendition (at least in the early bits) of Tears For Fears’ “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”
My butchered performances included (but weren’t limited to):
- “Ghostbusters”
- “Sound Of Silence”
- “Happy Together”
Oh, yeah, and this one (Ladies Night) which Eva so conveniently captured on camera. (you can see by clicking on the sidebar Rannie half-assing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” while also on the phone, no less; Jeremy leading a sing-a-long to “Sweet Caroline”; Joey’s “Iron Man” and the “magic mic” promo; the whole room singing “Hey Ya” as led by Irina and Carrie; and the ever popular “Creep” by Ranniohead)
You can be sure Joey will have some pics/movies coming soon.
See, here’s the thing about me: I’m a horrid singer. I was even in a choir group in high school (there for a girl, actually… well, two girls) and was thankfully drowned out by most of the others. I learned nothing. I have a hard time a) carrying a tune, b) projecting, and c) being serious about the whole thing. I love playing with songs, mostly trying to sing my karaoke in Shatner-speak, but that does get tired after a while, so I change it up and keep changing. I’m as playful with my singing as I am with my dancing… but at least my dancing doesn’t make people cringe.
…that I know of.

07/10/2005

Blogacatmas

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 11:10 am

Via Das Accordion Guy, it’s a non-denomination holiday that everyone, with the exception of ailurophobics, can enjoy: Blogacatmas (pron.: blog-ah-caht-mass)
Look! It’s Bailey licking up blood!

TASTY!

and look… HOBO KITTIES!


and Whisp, the Oven-Mitt Kitten!

26/09/2005

the heart of the matter

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 4:15 pm

Adjectives that equal “good” - cool; rad; chill; tubular; wicked; gnarly; nifty; neato; wild; slammin’; proper; chill;
Airwolf…
Wait… Airwolf?
totally airwolf 2.jpg
Dave’s Long Box is Airwolf, man!

Sex. Sexy….sex!

The Functional Ambivalent writes a holy golddang essay on href="http://functionalambivalent.typepad.com/blog/2005/09/sex_day_room_ce_1.html">hotel sex.
Hilarious, educational, and a little creepy.

more of the Sexy… sex!

Our favourite sex advice column here at geek.ent. is href="http://dontaskwendy.blogspot.com/2005/09/other-stuff-can-be-where-its-at.html">(Don’t) Ask Wendy, who answers the
ages old question of why guys can’t “just be okay with kissing and stuff”

no more Sexy… sex, let’s make love

Bruce has adapted MAKE LOVE! THE BRUCE CAMPBELL WAY into a self-produced audio version that stars none other than
Bruce Campbell - as himself! Accompanied by a top-notch voice cast, thrilling sound-effects and a script of the book he wrote
specially for this recording, Bruce has brought the book to life in a new and totally unique way on this six CD set. This is
not an Audio Book but rather an Audio Movie and the first of its kind. Only Bruce Campbell and Rykodisc can bring you 2005’s
most unique audio experience that doesn’t require partaking in that ancient exercise known as “reading.” Tune in, turn on and
let Bruce give your ears and funny bone some sugar, baby, with MAKE LOVE! THE BRUCE CAMPBELL WAY.

From the Rykodisc newsletter

the head and the love statue

here I try to stuff my hippy-doo head through the opening of some
“love” themed statue down in the Distillery District.
This is prior to my most recent haircut (done self-handed on thursday night) which is inspired by John Phillip Law’s Danger:
Diabolik cut. Airwolf baby!
diabolik.jpg

09/08/2005

Yo mamma don’t dance and the dead don’t rock’n'roll

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 5:10 pm

The World Net Daily reports on the outrage that has transpired since Ruthless Reviews message board members posted photos of them dancing on Ronald Reagan’s grave and (allegedly) pissing on Nixon’s as well.
I can understand why people are angry, I mean, disrespecting the dead, who, while alive, only ever disrespected the living. It’s just not right.
I got $5 (in US currency even) for the first person to bring a monkey to dance on Ronnie’s grave… as a tribute of course.
I love this quote from talk show radio host, Chris Dickson:
“I have personal interest in getting this individual and trying to protect the desecration of presidential graves against First Amendment rights.”
What a nutter. Desecration, I mean can a few sneaker scuffs from some mulleted AC/DC fan really be considered a desecration?
gravedancing2a.jpg

04/08/2005

There’s a new Maestro on the scene

Filed under: blogwatch — graigkent @ 9:42 pm

Need some unsolicited sex advice?
Don’t Ask Wendy and she’ll give it to you anyway.
She helped me with my “leaky faucet”.

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