geekent’s stuff’n things

The new Mustang is being advertised as “Built for life in Toronto”.
The commercial, in its essence, shows the convertable stuck in a traffic jam.
What are they trying to say? Has no endurance on the highway? Works best when idling? It’s really faster and cheaper to walk or take transit?
Hooray for FORD’s new socially conscious advertising!!!

If Seinfeld taught us anything (and it taught us plenty) it’s that relationships are about nuances. It’s the little things, such as someone’s Arby’s fixation, or whether or not they’ll use your toothbrush, or how much they like food, and sex, together, the little things that determine how compatable people are.
For, you see, the big things, well the big things are things that are too ingrained, too inset in a person, the things about a person that really define who they are, what their character is, what makes them unique and special, and sometimes annoying. Even if you don’t like the big things, you’re able to overcome them because, well, you can’t change them.
It’s the little things that matter. The way someone eats a sandwitch without wiping the crumbs from their mouth, or the clipping of toenails that fling across the room, or that nickname they call you… the little idiosyncracies that you hate, they’re the things that make or break a relationship. Even more specifically, it’s when the person refuses to change the nuances, those small annoyances, that it really counts. It’s telling you that “hey, I’d much prefer peeling my scabs and licking the blood than being in a relationship with you”. It truly is. They’re little things for a reason, and they should be flexible, mallable, adjustable, and other similar adjectives.

My goodest buddy Ry told to me today that he’s been scanning the papers recently, looking at the personals classified section, and not for what you think. He’s been keeping an eye out to see if people he knows, or used to know, are getting married, or engaged, or graduating, or dying, or otherwise being successful or having some sort of notoriety.
Why, might you ask?
Well, why would anyone do such a thing? Self-validation, of course. (That may not be his actual intent, but that’s the joke I threw out there when he mentioned it)
Yes, there’s nothing like the absense of success of others to validate the lack of successes in your own life (this is very true for me, who has nothing to cling to right now, but Ryan is on the virge of being artistic maestro, holding his own gallery this coming fall (or autumn as we call it in canada)).
Yes, not having others surpass you on the social ladder in a public sense is the best way of ensuring that you’re still not on the bottom rung (although everytime I step on that ladder, the first rung breaks dagnabbit!).

Do you remember back in the day when one of those peanut butter companies decided to skip the oh so labourous process of having to use a separate jar to keep peanut butter, and another to keep jam, and combine the two into one swirling brown and red (or brown and purple) mix (I could come up with a really disgusting comparison item as to what it may look like, something in the defecal range but I won’t go there)?
I never tasted it, and the idea of having a pre-mixed peanut butter and jam combo at the time was (and still remains) an abhorration of humanity (or at least condomentity… that would be a collective of condoments and not a living being that is a condom). On the same note, I could never tolerate it when people would spread peanut butter on a slice of bread and then spread jam ontop of the peanut butter… it’s just wrong. The second layer of spreading pulls up the first layer in such a fashion that if you had to re-dip your knife into the p.b. jar, you’d get jam inside. Grody to the max. And there were some people who would do that, you know, jam on top of p.b., and then put another bread slice on top. I mean, you couldn’t have put the jam on one slice and the peanut butter on the other???? What is with you people?
The only way a proper pb&j sammich should be made is like this:
step 1: place two slices of bread one face up and one face down;
step 2: on slice 1 spread peanut butter;
step 3: wipe excess pb from knife on second slice so as not to taint the jam;
step 4: on slice 2 spread jam;
step 5: join slice 1 with slice 2 so that the pb face and the j face mesh, forming a binding agent which holds the two bread slices together.
step 6: (optional) slice diagonally into 1/2s or in a crosshair fashion into 1/4s
Now, don’t get me started on other combos, like that ketchup and relish combo, or the ketchup and mustard combo, or the mayo in a squeeze bottle.
The country is going to hell, we need a demon president.