The Brain In A Box collection gets kind of weird after the first two discs. While film and television soundtracks/scores/songs are an easy fit and you can (and they did) put pretty much anything together, the “Pop” disc doesn’t feel so unified. Anyone can put a mixtape together, but when you’re restricted by licensing songs for a mass distribution compilation, money is going to become a factor in the quality received. I don’t imagine Rhino had very deep pockets when putting together the Brain in a Box, and it certainly wasn’t going to be blowing half its budget licensing a Bowie tune. So what results is an odd, 22-track mish-mash of rarely heard tunes of varying quality and equally suspect flow.
It kicks off with the promising surf-instrumental “Telstar” by The Tornados and The Marketts “Out Of Limits”, but soon thereafter devolves into a kitschy cheese-fest with the tragic warble of Jefferson Airplane’s Grace Slick with the 60’s psych “Have You Seen The Saucers” followed by the faux Elvis Costello nasal crooning of Graham Parker’s “Waiting for the UFO’s” (pronounced “You Foes” in the song) and Harry Nilsson’s 70’s orchestral pop “Spaceman”.
Some of the tracks sound like they should be on the incidental/lounge or novelty discs (Spirit’s “Space Child” or Jimmie Haskell’s “Blast Off”). Suburban Lewis’ “Flying Saucer Safari” sounds more like a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 joke production than a true blue pop song, while Soul Inc.’s grating “UFO” track sounds like a Muppet Show sketch featuring Dr. Teeth and Beeker, and even They Might Be Giant’s “For Science” or Lothar and the Hand People’s “Machines” tracks sound more like sketch comedy skit than what you’d think of as “pop”.
Joe Bennett and Sparkletone’s “Rocket” is an authentic 50’s rockabilly tune, while Stan Ridgeway’s defiantly 80’s sounding “Beyond Tomorrow” and the 60’s swing-soul “Rocket Ship” by Vernon Green and The Medallions all sound like potential low seeds on the top 100 in their respective eras.
As a compilation, it’s a decent and diverse selection, but bar too many tracks sound like kitsch extracts from sloppy B-grade sci-fi films, especially when listening to them one after another. You can just picture the fatties in their homemade alien/space-faring costumes roaming the floor of a sparsely attended convention rocking out to this piped in over the loudspeaker…
I should note that the bookends, the aforementioned Telstar, and the a capella “After The Gold Rush” by Prelude, are easily the best tracks, the latter standing out with it’s crisp vocals and genuine harmony, with nary a theremin or guitar to be heard.
Some tracks fare better upon repeat listening, others worse, but by and large they’re unmemorable and it’s no surprise why I haven’t returned to listen to it very often.
Roky Erickson - Creature With The Atom Brain
Bullets and Bracelets - it’s interesting to see the creative talents involved in this project. Few, at the time, were superstars, although names like Mark Waid, Chuck Dixon and, here, John Ostrander were, and remain, solid talent in the industry. But, some, and Ostrander especially, completely jobs it here, just lazy, cliched writing, perhaps striving for a 70’s comic vibe with overt melodrama and cornball hero/villain encounters. He doesn’t even strive very hard at the “amalgam” part, using “Princess Diana” (the “bracelets”) in pretty much an unchanged form (well aside from sporting the horrific workout outfit that replaced the traditional Wonder Woman garb for a couple years) and the Punisher (the “bullets”) is supposed to be Steve Trevor mixed with Frank Castle (as “Trevor Castle”), but is essentially the Punisher with blonde hair and a soft spot for brunettes. Though estranged, they have a child together who has been abducted, at first they think by the Monarch/War Machine cross, but then they’re boom tubed to Apokalypse where they meet up with their old friend Big Titania, and duel with the Female Furies (unchanged from their DC incarnations) before meeting the big bad, Thanoseid. It’s all very silly, especially when they find out that Kanto, all grown up and a master assassin, is their son (*spoiler*). Guh, brain numb. Nice art from Gary Frank though.
Bruce Wayne: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Chuck Dixon brings in the most entertaining and probably the least cheesiest sense of amalgamation out of any of the dozen books. Here, Bruce Wayne is Bruce Wayne (no amalgam) but instead of being Batman he’s a super-spy. He works for Nick Fury and Seargeant Rock (both unchanged), who head up S.H.I.E.L.D. and he’s totally in love with Huntress #1 (Barbara something, likely a mix of Batgirl and Black Widow) and has mentored a couple of young heroes wearing the Moonwing (Moon Knightwing?) garb. They take on the Green Skull (Lex Luthor and the Red Skull mixed) but he’s killed by his own daughter Selina (#2) Luthor who takes over Hydra. At the end the whole place goes Kablam-o in an actually suspenseful cliffhanger. It’s outrageous Steranko-style super-spy mayham, illustrated by a then young Cary Nord, and my favourite of the lot, hell… I was even jonesing for a second issue when it was done.
Legends of the Dark Claw - Amalgam universe’s Bruce Wayne #2, merged with, obviously, Wolverine, in what you’d think was a cool costume/persona if you were, perhaps 12, but as an adult it’s more than just illogical, it’s mind numbingly bad (see poem up top). I’ve always been suspect of Larry Hama’s non-G.I. Joe writing talent and here it’s just as bad as anything of his I’ve read, add the Amalgam conceit on top and you want to get a drill and go trepanning until all the demons are let out of your skull. Hama introduces a second Huntress here (Carol Danvers) which further proves that nobody was really paying attention when all these comics were made. It’s twelve books people, surely you could have come up with something more cohesive…? The “Hyena”, a cross between, I dunno, Sabretooth and the Joker, is one of the worst creations of the Amalgam universe (frankly, I think the Joker should be the Joker no matter where he is, his insanity keeping him unique, but then that’s kinda clever, which few of the Amalgam books are).
Amazon - the most uninspired mix of Storm and Wonder Woman (Donna Troy) yields the dullest of all stories. Flying around high in the sky, Wonder Woman squares off against the god Poseidon, who contests her weather controlling skills against his ocean controlling skills. That lasts for a couple panels and then there’s page after page of background storytelling and Ororo teaching Poseidon a lesson that humbles him. It’s all talk, no action.